Not funny when there is no money

‘Beeeeeeeeee….Beeeeeeeee….Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!’

My heart sank. This sound was emitting from my cardcard IU unit telling me that my cashcard is low in value. I distinctly remembered that it was only last week that I topped up the cashcard. The first culprit that came to my mind was my younger brother who recently just passed his driving test and has been using the family car a lot since.

To make things worse, I was approaching an ERP gantry soon and there is no way I can avoid it.  At that moment, the Chinese saying  “明知山有虎,偏向虎山行*” came straight into my mind, I was a lamb waiting to be slaughtered in an abattoir. Half hoping the ERP system would fail, I drove pass the gantry cursing and swearing at my own and my brother’s stupidity. The ERP did not fail. It is a good $10 fine that should not have incurred if I have checked the cashcard before I drove off and if my brother has the decency to top it up after using the car. It wasn’t so much of blaming my brother, but blaming myself for my inability to own and drive my own car. If I have driven my own car, this situation would never have occurred. After I drove pass the ERP gantry, I promised myself that I would get my own transportation before 2008.

Guess that is the typical middle child character in me speaking.

I should really start saving for this.

Transformer Jazz

Above: Transformer Jazz as Pontiac Solstice 

COOL!!! 

* Old chinese saying – usually used in the context where a person knowingly walks into a danger.

Fat is infectious

simpson.jpg 

person’s chances of becoming obese increase by 57 percent if that person has a friend who is obese, according to the report, co-authored by James Fowler from Harvard University and Nicholas Christakis from the University of California, San Diego

Channelnewsasia 26 July 2007

If this is the case, I should really start hanging out with slim people. Eh! Wait a minute, why would the slim people hang out with me since I have 57% chance of “infecting” them. DUH.

The article further said “It is also “plausible” that “areas of the brain that correspond to actions such as eating food may be stimulated if these actions are observed by others...”

Future eateries will have high cubicle-like wall around each seat so that you will not be tempted by how  delicious that bowl of laksa that your neigbour is eating.

I did not read the full report but if the news is accurately reported, I think the time and money can be spent on more constructive studies. Studies like this  serve no purpose  other than for my amusement.

So, if ever your friend asked made the comment,”.. you put on weight…”, remember to quote this report and tell them,” All your fault lah!”

Bad weather?

“There is no such thing as bad weather, only weak mind.”

-Unknown 

The sky looked like it was about to rain when I just started my run. There were two choices for me, take a short run and head back home or take my usual route. I decided to brave the imminent rain and was duly rewarded with a period of light drizzle. I usually hate running in the run as the air is usually wet and heavy which makes breathing very difficult. This time round, the rain was surprisingly refreshing. Along the way, I ran past the Tampines Sports Hall and saw a topless muscular guy who looked like he just came out of the gym running in front of me.  Thinking of using him as my pacer, I widen my stride to try and catch up with him.  He was fast and fresh, as compared to me, drenched and in the final leg of my run. After approximately 500m, I was about to give up on pacing the guy as he was just too fast for me, he turned into a HDB block and went into a lift. 

I ran past and cannot helped but think….

Loser

Childhood game money can buy

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As a kid, I used to be fascinated with the bubble wrap, always trying to figure out how they make this kinda of stuff. In those days, we will get bubble wraps only when there is a new TV or washing machine etc. I can spend hours sitting in one corner popping all the bubbles.

You can imagine my surprise when I saw this for sale near my workplace. Heehee.

Jessica Alba HAD plastic surgery

Jessica Alba has said that she can’t understand why actresses choose to have plastic surgery.

The Fantastic Four star has vowed that she will never go under the knife because she wants to age gracefully and retain the expressive nature of her face for acting roles.

“As an actress, you express emotion with your face. And if you have plastic surgery, you lose that spark,” Alba explained. “People usually look better without surgery – my grandmother aged very gracefully.”

Guess what I saw on the Chinese paper today?

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Above: Newspaper article on the alleged surgery. Right photo shows “before” and left photo shows “after”.

 

Apparently she had rhinoplasty and minor realignment of eyes. And I always thought she is one of the few celebrities that have not gone under the knife.

If she really had surgery, she had just shot herself on her foot. Shucks.

 

 

Oops! They did it again!

From the best paid government in the world that claims to be running a “first-world” country, two consecutive mistakes are simply unacceptable.

oops1.jpg

 Above: Screen capture of the offending  main webpage

1. Developement Charge or Development Charge

2. Woodlands Close or Woodsville Close

Call me nitpicking but committing the mistakes is one thing, not discovering those mistakes after two days is another. 

Maybe they did not get their pay increment.

How to say 'no' without saying no.

Ever been bombarded by credit card companies calling you trying to GIVE you their latest super fancy credit card with tonnes of free gift?

What you can do: Try to sound really excited and tell them you have been trying so hard to get a credit card but all the banks rejected your application because you only earn $1,000 a month.

Rate of success: 100%. All of them promptly informed me that they will contact me the next time the bank has any promotion that I will be eligble. Update: Citibank just launched a poor man’s credit card for people earning less than $30,000 per annum with credit limit of $500. So don’t try this on Citibank. 

 

Harressed on the street by Time Share touts along Orchard road?

What you can do: Tell them you are a illegal immigrant with no travel passport.  Ask them if the time share scheme allows travelling without a passport.

 

(Only applicable in Bali) When walking along the street, pesky taxi drivers who will honk at you at every opportunity to attract you to take their taxi.

What you can do: Deliberately look away from them, pretend to take interest in anything along the road or in the sky. Walk away from them. It helps in pretending to be dumb and deaf walking along the street too.

Rate of success:  50%. They just won’t take no for an answer.

Men have broad shoulders and can't carry handbag

Yishun Town Sec boy spotted carrying his female classmates’ bags

excerpt from http://mediaclub.stomp.com.sg/hotstuff/hotstuff_39.php

“…..She said in an email to STOMP yesterday (15 June): “A few weeks ago, I saw this yishun town boy helping 2 other yishun town girls carry their school bags while carrying his own as well in causeway point. Its very gallant of him helping his friends to carry their bags.”

I was indeed horified when I came across this article. This is not chivalry, this is plain exploitation on the girls’ part and plain stupidity on the boy’s part. Unless the two girls have no hands or shoulders, I cannot think of any valid reasons why they are not carrying their own bags. Don’t get me wrong, I am no male chauvinist pig. I believe in  opening and holding doors for ladies, carrying their heavy shopping bags etc. Heck, I will even hold their handbag for them if they have pay a visit to the ladies. Strapping their bag’s over my shoulder? No thank you, I don’t think I will look good in them.

What is wrong with Singapore men today? Why are they carrying their girlfriend’s handbag for them? It is called a ladies bag and not a ladies bag for man to carry bag for a reason.

The Girl can’t help but feel disgusted everytime she sees a guy carrying his girlfriend’s handbag. I can totally understand how she feels. Just imagine a tall and big guy carrying his girlfriend’s LV shoulder strap bag over his shoulder. Yucks.

So guys, if you are clueless on what to do in situations where you have to hold her bag for her temporarily. For example, when she needs both her hands to browse a book.

bags071.jpgχ  This is wrong. Never ever hook anything that looks remotely like a ladies handbag on your shoulder! Look how pretty the guy is.

bags07.jpg√ This is the right way of holding the handbag. By holding it a distance away from you, people around will know that the bag is not yours and you are holding it only temporarily. A word of caution though, holding the bag too far away and your girlfriend might be offended. Well, like they always say, practise make perfect.